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HOW EP

by Dead Gowns

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1.
fell down the stairs tried to give you a kiss you said oh how cute look how you drip drip hand me some ice I can’t take a joke my lip is split I’m late for work I’m a renter not a buyer I don’t stay long it don’t matter how the floorboards creak and the window seams let out a fucking cold breeze when you need it least hand me your shirt yeah you wear it better if I don’t return it hope you let it slide no time for coffee two blocks away my mouth’s still bleeding but I’m two weeks late I’m a renter not a buyer dress me up like someone’s daughter put me on my side, call it a brick, call it a wife call it anything you want on the ceiling, I was air I’m a renter not a buyer I don’t live here, does it matter I just coexist in a half domestic I just take my shift in a sub-synthetic
2.
How You Act 03:18
tried to take it in a different direction said the wrong thing and it sent me back feeling rushed and insecure like a rock when you asked for a glass that’s not what you meant how’d you learn it? it’s how you act that surrounds it head back to the car why don’t you I’ll make the call so everyone knows and you’ll hear second accounts of a future a promise, you stole away the bow but that’s a lie and you can forgive it it’s how you act that surrounds it yeah it’s messy, grow up your heart do you think you did right from the start? collect the lawn chair debris from my yard and paint my doorway the color of a birthday card happy birthday to you that’s not what I meant how you’d learn it? it’s how you act that surrounds it
3.
try to build a wall try to let a no fall from a mouth that did wrong too I took too long to talk to you try to build a new routine like trying to pick out the good memories and I failed twice before if I keep doing it like this I’ll always stay a kid change your mind, change, change your mind oh anytime, why don’t you change your mind, change your mind, change your mind oh anytime, you’ve got to change your mind, change your mind, change your mind come on get up just say no it’s not what you want you gotta let it go so you can have it, I lost my steam in the end, this wasn’t my dream take out the trash, do my groceries remember to be more forthcoming and yeah, it is enough it brings you right back to yourself hell yeah, it is enough it brings me right back to myself
4.
Real Life 03:44
what is it you’re feeling can you put it in a painting there’s no saturation it’s just the same old thing stop talking in rings you came here to say what you think I’ve got a real life now and I intend to shut you out I’ve got a real life now watch me turn the clocks around oh it’s with my name too I walk that path, I walk it like you find two knees pressed against one another it's the shape of my need in the shape of another and I swoop down in circles to find the baby in my arms but it wasn’t mine 'cause I’ve got a real life now and I intend to shut you out I’ve got a real life now watch me burn the candles out watch me leave the table cold leaving with my hat and coat stop to do one final dish and leave before it’s finished I’ve got a real life now
5.
fell down the stairs tried to give you a kiss you said oh how cute look how you drip drip hand me some ice I can’t take a joke my lip is split I’m late for work I’m a renter not a buyer I don’t stay long it don’t matter how the floorboards creak and the window seams let out a ****ing cold breeze when you need it least hand me your shirt yeah you wear it better if I don’t return it hope you let it slide no time for coffee two blocks away my mouth’s still bleeding but I’m two weeks late I’m a renter not a buyer dress me up like someone’s daughter put me on my side, call it a brick, call it a wife call it anything you want on the ceiling, I was air I’m a renter not a buyer I don’t live here, does it matter I just coexist in a half domestic I just take my shift in a sub-synthetic

about

Dead Gowns is the songwriting project of Geneviève Beaudoin. Her latest collection, the How EP, is a confident declaration of self-acceptance. First penned during the recording sessions of a separate Dead Gowns full length in January 2021, these songs — urgent, necessary and assuming a life of their own — rose to the surface. When a recording opportunity emerged, thanks to a grant offered by Portland, ME studio Prism Analog, the new collection became a reality. The ensuing record boasts a cast of good friends/collaborators, including Luke Kalloch, Peter McLaughlin, Nat Baldwin, Alex Millan, Aisha Burns, Ricardo Lagomasino, and Brett DesChenes.

Ideas of shedding, and the power and tenderness required to do so, are evoked again and again over the course of this collection. ‘Renter Not A Buyer’ is the cheekiest of the tracks, but also the most indelible. The chorus is a veritable earworm, as catchy as it is damning. It’s a multi-faceted exploration of the shells we inhabit, the work involved in preserving them, and how they so often fail us. The narrator, hungover and late to work, tumbles down the stairs from an apartment too drafty to be habitable. Bleeding from the mouth, she tries to kiss her date goodbye, avoiding a larger reality in her body. Beaudoin’s own experience with endometriosis informs this exploration: she sets concealed pain in direct opposition to the demands of saving face. This process is invariably fraught and she is the first to recognize the absurdity of trying at all.

The rest of the EP is less fixated on the pitfalls of how one presents to the world. Though Beaudoin first wrote these songs as unspoken dialogues, she sees them now as affirmations intended for herself. ‘How You Act’ is a reclamation of agency, empowering the narrator to forgive and accept: “Yeah it’s messy, grow up your heart” elucidates this revelation, with Beaudoin’s voice ringing out unaccompanied for a brief moment of quiet triumph.” ‘Change Your Mind’ is a moving celebration of this new life, emerging with gusto from the past. Set atop swelling strings and the warm swagger of a Fender Rhodes, this affirmation feels earned and regal. But it’s the final track, ‘Real Life,’ - a late addition to the EP - that reminds Beaudoin that there’s no fixed point here. She has to make peace with the fact that her desire for change will always run alongside a past that won’t entirely stay past.

Throughout the four songs that make up the HOW EP, Beaudoin deftly traces the molting process from the darkly comic wriggling of the larval state to the transcendence of uncalloused being. It is a decisive statement from a band comfortably growing to meet its potential.

credits

released October 14, 2022

HOW EP

Performed by Dead Gowns
Written by Geneviève Beaudoin
Arranged and produced by Geneviève Beaudoin and Luke Kalloch

Renter Not A Buyer:
Wurlitzer, vocals - Geneviève Beaudoin
Guitar, Baritone guitar - Luke Kalloch
Electric bass - Nat Baldwin
Drums - Peter McLaughlin

How You Act:
Synth, piano, vocals - Geneviève Beaudoin
Acoustic guitar, baritone guitar - Luke Kalloch
Bass - Nat Baldwin
Drums - Peter McLaughlin
Flugelhorn - Brett DesChenes

Change Your Mind:
Wurlitzer, vocals - Geneviève Beaudoin
Baritone guitar - Luke Kalloch
Electric bass - Nat Baldwin
Drums - Peter McLaughlin
Violin, background vocals - Aisha Burns
Double bass - Alex Millan

Real Life:
Piano, rhodes, vocals - Geneviève Beaudoin
Acoustic guitar, baritone guitar, bass - Luke Kalloch
Drums - Ricardo Lagomasino

Tracks 1-3 recorded at PRISM Analog. Engineered by Nick Johnson with studio assistance from Joe Sasso. Track 4 was recorded at Dad Chalet / Ricardo’s. 2021.

Mixed by Luke Kalloch
Mastered by Carl Saff

Cover artwork by Hilary Eyestone

About PRISM Analog: Located in downtown Portland, Maine, Prism Analog, a registered 501(c)(3), seeks to inclusively engage area musicians by offering recording services, performance space, and music tuition. We leverage the good in people: like-minded volunteers, local and federal grants, and personal and corporate donations. More at prismanalog.org.

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